Vzot HaBracha

וזאת הברכה

Simchat Torah Sameach,

It is that time of the year again, and VZot HaBracha still doesn't get a Shabbat. It shouldn't even get a Dvar Torah. We go threw the Parsha a good 20 times in Shule.

(33:16) The blessing of the bounty of land and good crops rests upon Joseph, from H.' Joseph- 'the one who was separated from his brothers.'

It seems like all in life is down.

Look at Simcha. He has never done anything successfully. He brings no naches to his parents. His parents have the smallest house in the community. Still have not purchased a flat screen TV...I did not mean to shock the congregation with that piece of news. Yes. They also still mow their own lawn. Parents couldn't afford VIP membership at the JCC. Simcha doesn't even have his own locker. And his mom still has to do the family's laundry. A busha (embarrassment)...It all seems down. Their heads hang low. Simcha is the shortest kid in the seventh grade, and he still has to stand on a step ladder to hit the water fountain.

We don't learn from Simcha. 

At the end, Joseph is the viceroy of Egypt. What is a viceroy? No idea. But Joseph knows what it is. Why? Because he saw the Bracha in all that was happening. Did he complain? No.

Look at Vicki. Looks like she has no chance. Wasn't blessed with money. Wasn't blessed with health. But she has a nice sound system in her house.

See the positive.

It is not friends who make the person. It is how we view our hardships. And than H', mine are not as bad as Simcha's.

It is a new year. The Torah of H' is here. The blessings are within. And we still cannot figure out whose coat that is on the left side of the coat rack, in the coat room.

And everybody in this congregation thinks they are a viceroy.

May we be zoyche (merit) to see the blessing in all. Not all of our lives are as bad as Simchas. May we dare have the dreams of blessing.

May my dream come true. May we be blessed with a few more Israelites, in the Cohen to Israelite ratio. We have to reread this Torah portion way too many times this year, with all the Cohanim here. And you are all pathetic, still reading the Barchu card. You need it to coach you how to say the blessing? Were you not Bar Mitzvahed? Maybe if one of you would have read more than Maftir at your Bar Mitzvahs, our shule would have had another person who could read the Torah. We would have been finished an hour and forty five minutes ago.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Chag Sameach