Behar & Bechukotai Excerpts

בהר ובחקתי

Shabbat Shalom

Some are saying it is just Bahar this week. Some are saying it is just Bechukotai this week. Who am I to make decisions? For this reason, we are going to give a double sermon...Yes Bernie. That is four messages. Frank! Already taking out the magazine?! I haven't started with the message yet...
In the land of Israel, it is Bechukotai. And we do not live in the land. The shame that is upon you...I am here to bring you closer to Yidishkeit (Judaism). But you. Not being in Israel. Shame...

(25:25-28) As soon as there is ability to get the land back, he gets it back. You do not hold off on sold land in Israel. Even if you are broke. You buy it back as soon as you can...Why? That is your 'inheritance' from Gd. You can't just give away stuff. Your heirlooms. You don't just give away old dress. You keep it. You give it to your child, even if the hand-me-downs are out of style, you give it to them and tell them that trends make their way back. You remember the past generations and how they liked paisley. You don't just get rid of a siddur because the binding is peeling off. That is when you lose tradition...That is how egalitarianism starts. Who put these lyrics into the prayers?...Something about deals at Macy's...Prayers are supposed to be ancient Frank. That is why we do not bring magazines to shule. We take pride in what we receive from H.'
The shule has not gotten its pride back ever since it lost its Torah.
Maybe pride is not an inheritance. Maybe pride is something you deserve when you do something correctly, such as winning color war. Maybe pride is something you find when your holy possessions are not taken from you in Capture the Torah. Maybe pride is not opening up a magazine and deciding to sharpen your mind. Maybe pride is holding onto that inheritance...Because it is meaningful Bernie. Maybe pride is having a nicer dress in your home Nancy... 

(25:28) Even if you cannot purchase it back, you get it back in the Jubilee year. You get a chance to restart, even though you offer nothing.
You get that from H.' Your inheritance is holding onto, guarding what H' gave you. Sometimes, it is holding onto the past. Connecting with that. And now the shule wants to downsize? What is this I hear? What about the shules fund? Who is investing the shule's money? It is the board that is causing for this lack of inheritance. Inheritance! Connection with tradition.
Will the shule be around in the Jubilee year? There is no jubilizing here. Jubilee does not exist in this chapel...we lost inter-congregational color war again this year, Bernie. The last time we won was in 1965. And there was a double sermon then too....
And Mrs. Goldvasser. You can't take a couch the shule gave you, and then sell it...At least donate the money...Is the shule ever going to get back the chairs you borrowed for your seder? When the Jubilee year comes, will we get it back?...The question is, what is an inheritance. And we see here that you can't even get rid of it. H' gives it back to you. 
Maybe pride is something that is given to you. Forced on you. Something you accept and you can't get rid of. Michael. If you just did something decent for your family and this congregation...Such a let down. The piercings are too much for Bernie. Hand-me-downs would have brought some pride here...

If the person is not a Jew, you must plan your sale (25:53) ‘like a waged worker’ you are paid from year to year. You shall not go down with hard work ‘in your eyes.’ Why? Because (25:55) we are H’s slaves/workers.
That house, is not yours in Israel. It is H's. You are His slave. Accept it. But you may not be a slave in your eyes to people.
I should be out of here. The work you give me is painful and that makes it hard. Listening to all of your complaints about how we need change in this shule. Working for you makes me feel like I am less in my eyes. Work of such non-importance...
Bernie, I can care less if this has anything to do with the first part of the sermon. We are moving into Bechukotai soon, and none of you work. You are not even wage workers. And you take away my jubilee...
 
Chapter 26 speaks about idol worship. Right after the laws of the house and not being a slave worker, we go right into idols...Working hard is equivalent of idol worship. Thinking you can do it all by yourself...Well we know Menachem can't do it by himself. He lost color war for us again...Not important? There are consequences. We lost our Torah...
Even if you mess up, which this congregation is know for, t comes back to you in the Jubilee year. How much more do we need to know, to understand that Gd is in control here?! That H' is the one who decides if we should downsize?! That we should be capturing the Torah, even when we fail.
And then you show up late to shule on Shabbis.
 
Then we see in the beginning of BeChukotai. Only one thing to work hard for is the Mitzvot. We keep those and we get rain in its time, reassured relax living in the land, trees bearing fruit. All else is easy...But when you sin all goes bad, and you end up at Congregation Beis Emes Sefila in Topeka...
 
And why do we fail? Because we listen to our kids. Lett them educate themselves. These little fools...
(27:3-5) The worth of a 20-50 year old is more than a person under 20. Why? Because they are annoying. Because they do stupid things. Because they bring no pride. Because they never owned a paisley shirt. Because they think having a TV with a box in the back looks dumb. Because they follow Mrs. Goldvasser and sell stuff that is not theirs....

(27:13) 'If he redeems the animal, he has to add a fifth onto the worth.' You have to add onto the worth. You give what you promised and then some....Again with the tabs. Yes. You flip a tab, you do not give less. You pay your tab. 
The redeemed money belongs to the Sanctuary. It is holy.
It belongs to H.' Just like the land. It is holy. Your inheritance is holy. What you didn't work for is holy. You can't sell the shule's couch....

Pride is holding onto the inheritance. Educating our children to not be a bunch of worthless imbeciles, who have no idea what it means to do holy work, who have no idea what it means to inherit holiness, who have no idea what it means to jubilize...

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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