Mishpatim excerpts
משפטים
Shabbat Shalom
Many of us love animals. Many of us love children. However, animals do not have the right to eat children. I know the Jakobys love to go to the zoo. Even so, that picture on the news with the chimpanzee holding your youngest daughter who got lost and saving the baby...He was going to eat her...You have to be responsible. Chimp Shawn was a hero, only because the zookeepers got there on time, and they wanted to keep people coming to the zoo...
PITA puts up a sign- Save the whales. And it shows a fat person. As long as the animals are not offended. I understand...We have to care. If that whale is killing people. We have to kill it...
We cannot have this thought that all animals have the right intention. Do all humans have the right intention? We know the Gabbai doesn't.
We have to take responsibility for our actions. Shawn the Chimp must take responsibility...Many of our children have been binge drinking...Dad leaves his alcohol out...Kiddush. How many Kiddushes are you doing during the week Mr. Jakoby? And at the zoo?
We pay for our damages
(21:23-25) 'An Eye for an Eye, a tooth for a tooth....a burn for a burn, a wound for a wound...'
Vomit on the shule carpet, you pay for it...Does not make a difference if the carpet is from the 1970s.
(21:29-30) If it is known that your animal has gores, and it gores and somebody dies. Not just the ox, but the owner is also killed (by the Heavenly court- Rashi)
Point is that, you are held accountable for your animal's actions. Walk your little dog and she pees on my lawn. You pay for that...
The owner takes responsibility. That is the lesson. Don't raise your children like the ones that are running in the halls right now. Don't take home a goldfish from the Purim Carnival next year, because it will die...We must take responsibility and flushing a goldfish is not a proper burial.
Any owner of a ferret should be put to death, as we know they eat children.
(21:33) You are even responsible for a pit that you make...
The point is responsibility. Not to waste your rabbi's time...Educate your children to not be...Mr. Jakoby, dues have not been paid.
This generation has not learned responsibility. Even more than that, pride. Because their parents take no responsibility for these little chayas...they are animals that take eat all the good cookies at Kiddush.
It is all about taking responsibility...
Yes, you leave out an Entenmann's on the floor, at Kiddush. It gets smushed. You clean it up. It is something you left, just like that open pit...Your children do drugs and start talking to chimpanzees...
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom uMvorach
Shabbat Shalom
Many of us love animals. Many of us love children. However, animals do not have the right to eat children. I know the Jakobys love to go to the zoo. Even so, that picture on the news with the chimpanzee holding your youngest daughter who got lost and saving the baby...He was going to eat her...You have to be responsible. Chimp Shawn was a hero, only because the zookeepers got there on time, and they wanted to keep people coming to the zoo...
PITA puts up a sign- Save the whales. And it shows a fat person. As long as the animals are not offended. I understand...We have to care. If that whale is killing people. We have to kill it...
We cannot have this thought that all animals have the right intention. Do all humans have the right intention? We know the Gabbai doesn't.
We have to take responsibility for our actions. Shawn the Chimp must take responsibility...Many of our children have been binge drinking...Dad leaves his alcohol out...Kiddush. How many Kiddushes are you doing during the week Mr. Jakoby? And at the zoo?
We pay for our damages
(21:23-25) 'An Eye for an Eye, a tooth for a tooth....a burn for a burn, a wound for a wound...'
Vomit on the shule carpet, you pay for it...Does not make a difference if the carpet is from the 1970s.
(21:29-30) If it is known that your animal has gores, and it gores and somebody dies. Not just the ox, but the owner is also killed (by the Heavenly court- Rashi)
Point is that, you are held accountable for your animal's actions. Walk your little dog and she pees on my lawn. You pay for that...
The owner takes responsibility. That is the lesson. Don't raise your children like the ones that are running in the halls right now. Don't take home a goldfish from the Purim Carnival next year, because it will die...We must take responsibility and flushing a goldfish is not a proper burial.
Any owner of a ferret should be put to death, as we know they eat children.
(21:33) You are even responsible for a pit that you make...
The point is responsibility. Not to waste your rabbi's time...Educate your children to not be...Mr. Jakoby, dues have not been paid.
This generation has not learned responsibility. Even more than that, pride. Because their parents take no responsibility for these little chayas...they are animals that take eat all the good cookies at Kiddush.
It is all about taking responsibility...
Yes, you leave out an Entenmann's on the floor, at Kiddush. It gets smushed. You clean it up. It is something you left, just like that open pit...Your children do drugs and start talking to chimpanzees...
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom uMvorach
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