Ki Tasa Excerpts

כי תשא
Shabbat Shalom

(34:1) Moshe is commanded to carve out two tablets like the first ones.
When you break something good, you have to remake that. Moshe broke the first tablets, and H' makes him carve out the new ones. H' didn't just hand him a second pair of stones. He made Moshe work. I have tried getting you all to help, but not one person in this congregation lifts a hand. Instead, you spend months on this community dinner...
The shul was good 50 years ago. You have to redo the shul. We are reinstalling the old Aron Kodesh that was there before, and looked decent. I should have broken the new ark. I said it. It was made of sandwich board. Does this congregation have any self respect? No.
We have to redo everything here. We are going to be redoing the youth. New youth is going to be brought into the shul. Youth that doesn't argue with the sisterhood when they tell you to not take food before Kiddish.

The people we are honoring this weekend has always cared about the youth. We are honoring an important member of this congregation...Yes he is moving Bernie. He is moving to Israel. All important members of the congregation have left...They leave because they realize you are making 100s of thousands off them....I understand they never paid their dues, but honoring them is a backhanded way of getting their dues paid for.

We make things, such as books. Merely has written some books, which should be destroyed. For some reason BDS did not get in the way of her books. Everything else in this congregation has been affected by BDS...The minyan has been protested by its own members...Karen. We are not taking out Israel from the davening.

So we have the book. But what do you carve into it?
What did you carve into the ad journa?. It is not the message. It is the money it costs to put a message into the ad journal.
H' could have told Moses to write the words of the Torah. But on what? A Torah is on parchment. Again, it is about expensive. You don't write a Torah on 50lbs paper. That is the problem with the shul. The Chumashim are constantly ripping....

Nobody wants to hear your messed up congratulatory notes, on see through 50lbs paper...We are so proud of Mr. & Mrs. Friedman for all they have done for the community.

(34:4) Before ascending the mountain, to go up to H,' Moshe carves out the two tablets.
You have to put in an effort if there is going to be any kind of Teshuva. You prepare for it. Like Pesach, you have to prepare to do a Mitzvah right. There are Mitzvahs, but you have to prepare for them. Nobody prepared for Purim, so it was a messed up holidays with the worst costume competition ever. It was a costume competition of who tried the least.
Did anybody prepare for the dinner? Did you prepare for the Ad journal? No. You had no parchment to write the messages on. And the thoughts in the journal were of no effort...Not worthy of parchment. Kind of like the costumes worn by the children on Purim...

(34:6-7) H' lets known his 13 attributes of mercy...It would be merciful to not have to read the Ad Journal.
No more dinners. Those are not merciful. Just the horderves. 
They haven't paid their dues, or showed up to shul. Yet, I enjoy their membership much more than all of yours...That is how they show their care for the youth...They are merciful in their absence.

(34:8-9) Moshe now pleads to H' to be present amongst the stiff-necked people. 
A stiff-necked congregation. There was a census taken, and this is the most out of shape congregation in West Arkansas.
'We mus have a dinner.' That is what the board decided. This shul needs a new carpet...Because the new one you put in by the board makes me dizzy, every time I see it. It is like looking at a thin lined checkered shirt.
You are stiff necked. Fine. Be stiff-necked. Have your rules. Have the dinner. But put something in the Ad Journal that is meaningful. Something worthy of somebody who is carving out a tablet. Like Mr. & Mrs. Friedman, our local masons.
We have to make an effort for H' to be present amongst us. We have to carve out something for H' to decide to show us His attributes of mercy. We have to purchase a costume, not knit it. We have to clean for Pesach, with shpritzs. We have to put in decent carpeting. Use decent wood, and at least 60lbs. paper for H' to be present, and for people to write notes about our honorees that we want to read.

I will not go on for a long speech today, as the speeches went on for 3 and a half hours at the honor dinner. We must stop calling it 'Beis Emes Awards of Peace.' We are going to change the name to the 'Beis Emes Awards.' Nobody in this congregation has done anything for peace. It is almost as worthless as the Nobel Peace Prize...

I cannot write everybody's Ad for the journal...Next year, we are going to be honoring the Froymans, who also haven't paid their dues.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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