Ki Teitzei Excerpts

כי תצא

Shabbat Shalom

The first year of marriage people have a custom to dip the Challah in honey, commemorating sweetness. That is before the second year, where people have a custom to fight, commemorating marriage. That can be seen by the Schwarzman family, bickering right now, in the back of the shul. Please sit down...

(24:5) First year of marriage 'he must make his wife happy, that he took.' It is his first year of marriage. He must make her happy. He doesn't go out to war. You can't make your wife happy writing letters from the war front. 'I miss you honey. I am in the middle of a battle.' Do you think she believes that? How can you be in a battle, writing a letter? 

You have to protect yourself and that is not focusing on her.

Who here focuses on their wife the first year of marriage? Frank still plays racquetball everyday...Nobody plays it anymore Frank. There are two courts in the whole city...You are not Elvis. 

Some of ya'll went on a trip. A guys trip. Celebrating not being around your wives for a weekend. Called it the First Man's Club...A man stays at home with his wife. Do you even know what your wife likes? She hasn't worn the dress you bought her.

You didn't take your wife. You just married her. Is she that boring? You can't vacation with her? War is not vacation.

War is not sweet Bernie...We love the veterans, that is not that point.

(24:6) You don't take somebody's milestone. You don't take collateral that is the guy's livelihood. How is going to pay you now.

Rashi explains that you don't take what feeds him.

You don't go into the guys shop and take his nonperishables and then tell him that the only way to get them back is to pay for the debt he owes. He has to sell that stuff. Now he has to go into the charity food drive bucket to restock...That is where the charity food drive has went to. We know that the Froinlechs owe a lot of money.

You don't take their Parnasa, their way of making a living, away. You don't take away a week from your rabbi's vacation. He has a wife too, and he spends time with her...That is why their marriage is not going well right now. Because of the shul's board.

The point is that you care about people, and you care about your wife.

(24:10-13) You don't go into the home of the debtor. You know the guy has nothing. What are you going to take? You take the PlayStation, that is for them. They need a way to waste their time...

If he is poor, you give him back his security.

A pillow is returned. Why does he only have one pillow? Because he is poor. You don't understand what poor people have. You also return their honey, in the first year of marriage.

You give him back the stuff and it is considered 'Tzedaka.' He should also bless you. But do the poor people in this congregation bless anybody? No. Because they don't pay their dues. And because we won't give them a MiShebeyrach, because they are not going to donate anything. And nobody gives money for opening the curtain...If you are poor you're supposed to care about other people. Give a blessing. You aren't giving any money.

(24:7) Somebody who is found kidnapping and enslaving somebody, they get killed.

If you don't care about other people, separate families, you get killed.

Is that not politically correct Karen? Does that bother your senses?...Well, the American government would support people spending time with their spouse. I know that it is offensive to wife. That is why I say spouse. I am sorry I grew up in the 80s when using the word transvestite was fine...

(24:8-9) Guard the affliction of Tzara'at. Remember what Miriam did. Miriam spoke bad about her brother. And what does the 

Nothing to do with Shabbat. You have to guard the Shabbat too. I know you are all thinking that Shabbat is not important anymore, because we have to 'Guard the Affliction.' You guard the Shabbat to make it holy. You guard the affliction to keep it out of the community. To keep it from making other things un-pure. You guard the affliction and you don't get a whole town full of people who can care less about their wives, taking away the livelihood of their rabbis, a place where honey is found in abundance, and not shipped in, because shipping from other places is bad for the environment, Karen. I know Karen.

All about treating people well. When was the last time the Schwarzmen's treated each other well?

Where is the family sweetness? Your child is still in the first year of her marriage.

Rosh Hashana is coming up. Are you dipping Challah in honey.

Do the poor people even have the money to dip Challah in honey? 

Are the people with Tzara'at contaminating the honey?

Are you an un-sweet affliction?

Who is guarding your family when you go on vacation?

Are debt collectors in your home, eating the honey?

Do you have a pillow with honey on it?

Are you fighting before the second year of marriage?