Balak Excerpts
בלק
Shabbat Shalom
(22:31-32) H' opens Bilam's eyes, and Bilam sees the angel. The angel asks, 'For what reason have you hit your donkey these three times?'
The donkey was right, but Bilam couldn't see it. Kind of like the way you all treat your rabbi. You constantly say, 'No,' and complain and take whacks...
Because he felt that the donkey was not doing as he wanted. We all expect things to go our way. We know that when we saw the Fergsteins fighting over the Bar Mitzvah platter at last week's Kiddush. It was embarrassing and quite uncomfortable for us all, to watch you all fighting as to how important the baby corns are...
We get mad at people who try to help, because we cannot see what is happening, right in front of us. Our eyes are fixated on our personal rewards. In Bilam's case, it was being a hero, fame. In the Fergstein's case, it was about making room for the cut carrots and pigs in the blanket...Everybody wants it their way...A baseball theme Bar Mitzvah. There is no room in the shule for batting cages...
(22:30) The donkey stops and talks to Bilam. The donkey has already impeded Bilam's goal in his journey to Balak, who wants to curse the Jews. After being hit, for trying to save Bilam three times, the donkey says, 'You have ridden me all these years. Have I ever done such a thing to you?'...You have been riding your rabbi with your stupidity for a good amount of years...
Sometimes there is a reason, and we have to take a second out and stop looking at our own needs for power...There are those trying to help us not make dumb decisions. And not having baby corns is a dumb decision...In Michael's case, his parents are telling him to not play ball in the house, but to play ball in the shule...
But who is standing in the way of the idiots who want to boycott Israel?
People are cursing the Jews all the time. Just words- 'Lets boycott.' Lets divest...You haven't invested anything in Israel...You people in this congregation. We will call you people that never did the army and don't support America...You don't even buy the Israeli vegetables in the supermarket. You are too afraid that you will not tithe correctly. Try tithing a baby corn...
Divestment campaign. Sounds all glorious. It is a campaign, and you all love campaigns. The Fergsteins might get another plaques, which somebody can try to hit with the baseball...
They have do idea what they are doing. It is hatred which drives them...No goal, just a fear- like Moav. 'Lets not talk to them, lets curse them.'
You talk about your rabbi every night. You fear that your rabbi will bring Torah and halacha to the board's decisions...
There is a donkey in the path. There are supporters of Israel, saying, 'Why are hitting me. You are supposed to be a pacifist.'...Kidnapping and murdering is justified in hatred of Israel...Is it fear? Is it hatred? Once they are not willing to stop running after their selfish goals and see the truth, they are one in the same...
And to want to curse the people who love you, for something as dumb as shipping in baby corn from Israel, that is where the hatred begins.
What have you done? Have you changed your profile picture?
When the war going on down South, in Israel, your rabbi did a Solidarity mission, down to Eilat. As it was your rabbi that showed support for the swimmers, by relaxing with them. When we stop vacationing, we are giving into terror. I do not mean to boast. But I did spend a good two weeks down there, went clubbing...Point is that I am going on vacation next week, to purchase Israeli products and fight terrorism through relaxation.
May their lives and memories be for a blessing. And may H' comfort their families and the nation of Israel. And me not have to know of hatred...If people in this congregation are not offended by calling Israel a nation with a homeland, and a prayer and hope to stop baseless hatred...the foul language.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom
Shabbat Shalom
(22:31-32) H' opens Bilam's eyes, and Bilam sees the angel. The angel asks, 'For what reason have you hit your donkey these three times?'
The donkey was right, but Bilam couldn't see it. Kind of like the way you all treat your rabbi. You constantly say, 'No,' and complain and take whacks...
Because he felt that the donkey was not doing as he wanted. We all expect things to go our way. We know that when we saw the Fergsteins fighting over the Bar Mitzvah platter at last week's Kiddush. It was embarrassing and quite uncomfortable for us all, to watch you all fighting as to how important the baby corns are...
We get mad at people who try to help, because we cannot see what is happening, right in front of us. Our eyes are fixated on our personal rewards. In Bilam's case, it was being a hero, fame. In the Fergstein's case, it was about making room for the cut carrots and pigs in the blanket...Everybody wants it their way...A baseball theme Bar Mitzvah. There is no room in the shule for batting cages...
(22:30) The donkey stops and talks to Bilam. The donkey has already impeded Bilam's goal in his journey to Balak, who wants to curse the Jews. After being hit, for trying to save Bilam three times, the donkey says, 'You have ridden me all these years. Have I ever done such a thing to you?'...You have been riding your rabbi with your stupidity for a good amount of years...
Sometimes there is a reason, and we have to take a second out and stop looking at our own needs for power...There are those trying to help us not make dumb decisions. And not having baby corns is a dumb decision...In Michael's case, his parents are telling him to not play ball in the house, but to play ball in the shule...
But who is standing in the way of the idiots who want to boycott Israel?
People are cursing the Jews all the time. Just words- 'Lets boycott.' Lets divest...You haven't invested anything in Israel...You people in this congregation. We will call you people that never did the army and don't support America...You don't even buy the Israeli vegetables in the supermarket. You are too afraid that you will not tithe correctly. Try tithing a baby corn...
Divestment campaign. Sounds all glorious. It is a campaign, and you all love campaigns. The Fergsteins might get another plaques, which somebody can try to hit with the baseball...
They have do idea what they are doing. It is hatred which drives them...No goal, just a fear- like Moav. 'Lets not talk to them, lets curse them.'
You talk about your rabbi every night. You fear that your rabbi will bring Torah and halacha to the board's decisions...
There is a donkey in the path. There are supporters of Israel, saying, 'Why are hitting me. You are supposed to be a pacifist.'...Kidnapping and murdering is justified in hatred of Israel...Is it fear? Is it hatred? Once they are not willing to stop running after their selfish goals and see the truth, they are one in the same...
And to want to curse the people who love you, for something as dumb as shipping in baby corn from Israel, that is where the hatred begins.
What have you done? Have you changed your profile picture?
When the war going on down South, in Israel, your rabbi did a Solidarity mission, down to Eilat. As it was your rabbi that showed support for the swimmers, by relaxing with them. When we stop vacationing, we are giving into terror. I do not mean to boast. But I did spend a good two weeks down there, went clubbing...Point is that I am going on vacation next week, to purchase Israeli products and fight terrorism through relaxation.
May their lives and memories be for a blessing. And may H' comfort their families and the nation of Israel. And me not have to know of hatred...If people in this congregation are not offended by calling Israel a nation with a homeland, and a prayer and hope to stop baseless hatred...the foul language.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom
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