Chayei Sarah Excerpts

חיי שרה

Shabbat Shalom

 

Sarah had a life. Does anybody here live? It is like the walking dead...Brian comes to shule all depressed every week. He still comes because his parents made him....You are 60 years old Brian. Do something because you want to...

(24:55-56) After they all agree that Rivka should marry Yitzchatk, the family tries to keep Rivka for a year or 10 months. Eliezer says, 'Do not delay me. H' has made my way successful. Send me and I will go to my master.' 

How long it take put together the soup drive?...It is the committees in this shule that delay and delay. What about my vacation? When I am going to get that? Again, a delay...

Always delaying. Can't give. Can't make a decision. Got to make it impossible for anybody in this shule to get an Aliyah. The post blessing blessings, the Misheberachs, are lasting 20 minutes...And then we now how the post service Dvar Torah, as people feel it is important to give a speech with their kiddush...No more kiddush sponsors unless you don't want to talk....And nothing this congregation does is successful.

(24:58) Rivka says she will go.

She sees when something is there. She notices when poor people need food. She notices that nobody wants to hear the name of everybody in your family, in Hebrew. She notices when people want a decent StellaDora cookie...

You don't make H' wait. When the thing is right, you do it. You go to shule, because it is right...But everything is wrong in this synagogue...

Now Melvin just broke up with the most amazing woman.
We all told you how great she was when we met her...You shouldn't have introduced us. Your fault. What did you expect us to say about her? She is too good for you?...Anybody could see that. Rivka would have seen that. She wouldn't have fallen off a camel for you. But this women gave you a chance, and like Lavan, you squander. 

(24:65) They see eachother. Her immediate reaction to hearing that that is the man she is intended to marry is She covers herself with the veil or the scarf. It is winter right now, and you all are running around without any layers...you are going to catch pneumonia.

(24:67) Yitzchak takes Rivka to be his wife and he is consoled after his mother's death.

Nobody was consoled by the soup. It spoiled before the poor people got it...Nobody is consoled by seeing Melvin single again. We all want to see a Tallis on you buddy. At least a scarf. It is cold outside. We are asking you to stop delaying and to bring us a Kiddush. One with no speeches. One void of committees. A kiddush that will give Brian a reason to come to shule.