VaYakehl-Pikudei Excerpts

ויקהל-פיקודי
Shabbat Shalom

A double Parsha. Can't get a week off. Makes me regret the holidays. Got the whole Pesach thing coming up. None of you know how to kasher. Who in this congregation is willing to risk their lives to make for a better Pesach? Every year, I am standing there with a blow torch. A boiling cauldron overflowing...
Then we finish Shemot. But that just means we start VaYikra. So I have to be here next week. And then I have to prepare the Shabbis HaGadol Drasha. But I am not here to complain about my job today...

(35:5) Beginning of VaYakhel, we learn that people are offered the opportunity to give to the Mishkan (the Tabernacle). Those who were נדיב לבו, motivated and by their heart to give (generous), could give. It was not a commandment. Just like it is not a commandment to read two Parshas. But we do it. I give to you by making sure you have kosher for Pesach silver.
The stuff used for the service was donated by people. Of their own free will. Nobody had to chase them. Kim in the office didn't have to put out calls...'It would be nice if you gave something...at least paid your dues.' No. They had a heart. They gave....No Bernie. Can't just give anything.
You gave, but it was specific (35:5-9). You didn't give your ripped up clothes, like what was left at the shul last week. Nobody needs the stuff you give the shul. It is not a donation if the shul does not want it. Like Mike's size 10 shoes that were too small on him... 
(35:29) They brought what H' told Moshe. They brought a free willed offering. Again. not a requirement. But what they wanted to give. What they wanted, from a requirement of what was needed. A base. The shul doesn't need Shabbis shirts with ring around the collar.

In Ki Tisa (30:13) You give the half shekel. Why? Because you have to. The poor and the rich give the same. Dues are paid by all, in order to be counted in the community. This is not a duty of the heart. It is a requirement. It can come from the heart. But it has to come. You have to give it. You have to pay your dues. You don't get an award for paying dues. You get the free kashering
I can understand why you wouldn't want to pay membership to be part of this community. I wanted to be a silent member, but they said that the rabbi must be seen by the people. The board said I have to show up for services...
(30:12) When you join  the congregation plague doesn't hit you. It is a requirement. It is not generous. 
To be part of a community, you pay your requirement, your dues. The extra is from the heart. Dropping off used socks is not from the heart. You don't decide on what is from the heart. The shul needs turqouise, Tachish skin and gold. That is what you donate...

(35:10, 25) The 'wise of heart' were to do the work...They were not the 'motivated of heart.' The workers had the skill and they came. It was more of a requirement. H' gives you your knowledge. It is a requirement. 
You have an ability, given to you by Gd. It isn't that you volunteer. You have a requirement to Gd, to the people. You use it. People think Jews can't build, because the Jewish day school got rid of wood shop. You must hone skills; which the day school does not do...
If you don't, you don't. If you can't sing, don't sing. Not your skill. Let's talk about this. There is nothing in the building of the MIshkan about singing...The child was singing Anim Zmirot to his own harmony. It sounded like Aaron Neville mocking himself.
What you aren't...not an athlete. Not good at deciding what the shul needs.

(39:1, 7) The Ephod and the belt and the stones placed on the Ephod, were all done 'as H' commanded Moshe.' They didn't create their own design and mess it up, like the Aron HaKodesh quilt.
(39:21) Made it so the breastplate wouldn't move from off the Ephod, 'as H' commanded Moshe.'
Again. We have requirements. Even when you are made to do something. Such as Betzalel and Ohaliav, you still have to make it right.
The silver I have kashered in year's past, is nothing like the Ephod. You wouldn't give it anyways. Last year, there was a fight as to whose kiddush cup it was with the Schwartz kashering pile...From now on, all Kiddush cups must be engraved with names or the family crest...Must be engraved correctly, with the name of the family. No more mixups...
Only name tagged clothes, so we know who gave the messed up checkered shorts

You don't volunteer and work and then start making up your own way. They didn't start building slides in the Temple. They made the Breastplate and Ephod the way it was commanded. Just as the Mishkan itself.
The shul jungle gym is going to be dealt with next time. Could have just found a new person to run the groups. Now kids are fighting over who gets to use the swing. The worst donation ever...They are swinging into the ceiling. They are in the youth group room. Now all it is, is a jungle gym. Bernie. Now we have no room for daycare...Because babies are going to get hit by the swings.
Frank, what are they supposed to do with a white shirt that has ring around the collar? Can't you bring it to the Gemach (the drop off center of Hadassah). The shul is not a garbage...Exactly, the Gemach doesn't want it...

You all buy silver and breastplates for yourselves. And then I have to kasher them.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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