Chayei Sarah excerpts

חיי שרה

Shabbat Shalom

Sarah passes away and Avraham is getting old. Which is a beautiful thing. Embrace it Thelma...First order of business- he thinks about the next generation. His child- Yitzchak

He cares about his child. He thinks about his children. Unlike the parents in this congregation who let their children roam the halls...don't want to pay $20,000 a year for a Jewish education...Unlike, Mr. Zitler whose son is out marrying a non-Jewish girl...Yes, I brought up intermarriage, and I know the board will probably fire me...

...For those of you who are still here and have not renounced your memberships

24:3-4 Avraham makes his servant go and find Yitzchak a wife. He does not do it himself, as we do not expect parents to do stuff other than pay for their children's welfare...pay for day school...

He says, 'Do not take from the Cannanite women...Go to the land where I come from, and take from one of those women.'

He cared about his son and he made boundaries for him, for what is right. People may be decent, but what 

do you bring into your home. Mr. Zitler does not bring Jewish people.

There are good people- like Dr. Frekstein, who comes to minyan every day. And bad people- like Dr. Goldsmith, who show up late.

Who should your child marry? Neither of them. They are both married... Marital perverseness must stop...

Marrying well was so important to Avraham, that he sends his servant. As we have seen in this congregation, never trust parents, congregants, as they make dumb decisions...He makes his servant take on oath by putting his hand under his thigh. We do not practice this tradition anymore, Mr. Zitler. 

(Rashi 24:2) Why there? Because the Milah, circumcision, was the  first mitzvah Avraham was able to do and it was a lot of pain. And for that reason, it was dear to him...why your spouse is so dear to you, because of the pain you suffered of them...why children are so dear to you, because of the suffering they cause- if you are not an absentee dad like Dr. Goldsmith.

Yes it is painful to marry Jewish, with all the hot non-Jews...But we most hold onto our Milah.

(Shelishis- Next Year we will speak about how you must bribe a woman- or her family- and the importance of money for a good Shidduch)

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.

David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.

Shabbat Shalom uMvorach