Tzav Excerpts

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Shabbat Shalom

(7:16) A volunteer feast offering, for a donation, may even be eaten the day after....You get an extra day. If it is a good piece of meat, many might not want to wait the extra day.

But on the third day, it is considered Pigul- rejected (7:18) 'Anybody who eats of it bares the sin.'

There is a certain point where you cannot pull food out of the fridge anymore. Mrs. Goldstone put up a great choolant two months ago. It was a big pot, but we are coming on the third month of that choolant. We all bore the pain of freezer burin.

There is a point where even leftovers are unacceptable...I know many in this congregation are now questioning their Jewish tradition, and hits at the core of our belief system. I know many of you are questioning. But it is still fine to serve Shabbat leftovers through Wednesday evenings...But on Thursday? Pizza night....

We have to now finish the choolant before Pesach...

(7:20) You cannot be Tameh/impure when eating from a feast peace offering. If you eat it and you are Tameh, you get Kares (cut off from the people).

There are times to eat. And times to eat certain things. We can see very well that Marvin doesn't care about health very much. You eat quiche like it is wings. It is disgusting. Nobody wants to sit with you at dinner...Your hands are never clean...

Bernie, you just took down 8 shots. Somebody has to cut you off before you give another speech...That is why you are always yelling in my sermons. You are not whispering right now. Your thoughts are very loud.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.
Shabbat Shalom