RAMBAM: Tefillah uBirkat Cohanim (14)- Get the Correct Duchining Moves Down

The Kohanim do not get up to duchin (the kohen blessing you heretic who thinks you can just throw out blessings) at mincha time, because we are afraid that people might be drinking at lunch. Drunk people cannot duchin. There are many things that drunk people shouldn't be doing. For another, they shouldn't be writing Diveri Torah (words of Torah, usually a speech you discussion giving apikores). For this reason, even at a fast day, we do not have them go up to duchan. If they are getting drunk on a fast day, then I have some words for these Kohanim who have found a way to bring drinking into a fast. Even if they are drinking Coke they do not have the right to be up there on a fast day. Even if it has not calories and they are only doing it for the taste of it. It is because we are worried that they might mistake it with a regular day's mincha. And we don't want to see the Kohanim fasting all the time. They get antsy. However, for Tisha BAv, or Ne’eelah on Yom Kippur we have the Kohanim get up, because it will not be mistaken as regular mincha, as they are said close to shkeeyah (when the sun goes down, you heretic who waits for the last minute to pray).

They go up at Ritzeh time (the prayer right before the modim in the Amidah, you heathen who doesn't know what modim is in the 18 Benedictions). They have to know when to do the turns, always to the right. What to say at the proper times. You cannot turn to early. You cannot turn back to late. You spent years mastering the 'Hokey Pokey.' Take some time out to learn when to turn yourself around in prayer. Congregants have to say the Amens at the right times. You don't just shout it out when you get the feeling, like you have been healed. Don't start bringing your spiritual excitement to davening. The Chazan has to finish before the Kohanim start saying their words. Then the Chazan has to wait till they finish the words too. Follow the pattern and don’t step on each others’ lines. This is not one of those 'Let me steal her laughs' Saturday Night Live moments.

You only call out ‘Kohanim’ if there is more than one. If there is one Kohen, he just does the thing himself. Lets say the guy is a big man? That is offensive. 

You’ve seen this in those pathetic small communities. If no Kohen, it is not done at all. You cannot just jump in and make decisions as to what you are going to do. 'I am feeling Kohanitic today.' It is not a feeling you can just go with. You are a Yisrael, not a Levite or Kohen, for a reason. Go out there and work. Get a useful job so you can give some money to the shule's building fund. You cannot just come in telling everybody that you feel very fatherly and want to bless the congregation to be like Ephraim and Minasheh, or Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah. It is not your birthday. Save the blessings for the one on one moments.

In the Beis Hamiksash they would say H’s name as it is. We use the 'Master' name for H’ outside of the Beis Hamikdash. When raising hands, you don't go too hi. I am amazed that I have to be teaching the Kohanim what to do. You should know this. You go up there everyday, and half of you don't even know the tune. All stepping over the Chazan's lines, cause you haven't memorized the words either. Shame. The Kohen Gadol would not raise them over the Tzitz, which had ‘Holy to H”’ written on it. Maybe look up what Tzitz means, and transliterate it back to Hebrew.

It has to be said in Hebrew as it says in Bamidbar (6:23) ‘This is how you shall bless the children of Israel.’ Thus we learn that it all has to be done a certain way. We don't need the little heretics in the congregation understanding the Brachot now. Just bless them the way they are supposed to be blessed. You start with the translations, next thing you know, there is a committee and meetings. And then we are blessing the plants and raising the Spok hands over the ruffage. 

You don’t add onto the Bracha. Nobody wants to hear your whole little hippy thing about 'you should be blessed and have happiness and peace...'

It should be a Yisrael calling up the Kohanim, as it says (ibid.- I used it and I don’t even know what it means. Can you imagine if I knew Latin, how much more stuff I would be writing , that you did not understand) ‘Say to them.’ Meaning somebody else should be saying it to Kohanim. I know most of you like to think that you can do it all alone. It is not like that in the community. In the community, you have to sit, and wait. A lot of time waiting.

Kohanim should not be the chazan. And between us. I have heard them doing the Bracha from the stage all the time. They don't really have good voices. Just saying. Maybe it is my community.