Miketz Excerpts

מקץ

Shabbat Shalom

Yosef is now the chief. The man with the food. People need it. People seem to like you when you have food...Nobody like that poor guy sitting outside the shule all the time. You look at him in disgust...

In our shule, it is Mike. He pours the whiskey at kiddush. People need that to enjoy herring...Many people have traveled far away from home for alcohol. Many people even travel down to Willmore to get away from their families. I don't know if you can call that place a congregation...Iis more  a watering hole for runaway dads. Most people in this congregation still think duty free is a good deal. How many have traveled all the way to New York City for a good corned beef sandwich?...Yosef's brothers traveled for some grain. Another country, for sustenance. Most people living in countries of famine cannot afford a trip...Sustenance for their family Bernie. They provided. You travel, make sacrifices to provide for your family.

(42:8) Yosef recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him...Right away, I would recognize every one of you, including Bernie. Because I have a heart. Do you even understand that I am your rabbi?...

When you do something wrong to somebody else, you forget it. We know that, as Max has not spoken to Bernie in years. However, Bernie seems to be fine. No heart...The little kiddush table bully. That two year old Furstein child has not shared a cupcake...Then eat some of it. The kid licks it and all we see every week is a half a table of licked cupcakes...Maybe sponsor a kiddush. People might recognize you guys as a family that gave something...Once.

Yosef then plays the 'guess who I am' game. A fun little game. The brothers think he is arresting them, imprisoning them. (42:18) Yosef lets them know that they should do what he says, with his test of them bringing Binyamin, to show they are not spies, 'and they shall live, I fear Gd.'

Fearing Gd is the reason to listen to Yosef. Who in this congregation fears Gd? Does Mike fear Gd? You fear paying dues.

(41:53-55) The seven years of good are over. And the famine has begun, The people scream for food...Amazing how quickly people jump and scream for what they need. 'I need my food now.' I have seen the kids in this shule...Maybe we can learn from Yosef and share our food.

It is not Purim and I still have no idea why the Fursteins dressed up their child like a viceroy.

This Chanuka, let us learn from Yosef and take some responsibility over how we allocate our meals...The season of giving...At the shule Chanukah party, we ask all the families of this congregation to line up, so that our sisterhood can know who they are giving food to. 

Maybe, like Yosef, you can take a minute out and think of the poor guy, sitting outside of the shule. Maybe, like Yosef, you can give him some money or ration him something. Maybe, you can ask him to move from the premises.

Maybe, one day, Mike will fear Gd enough to share with his children. Maybe Bernie will fear Gd enough to give some of his wealth to his grandchildren...Then they might not forget how you raised them, and maybe they will remember you as a non-angry tyrant. Maybe, one day, the Fursteins will raise a normal child with some manners.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.

Shabbat Shalom