Tazria Excerpts

תזריע

Shabbat Shalom

Yes, we are talking about the Tzaras affliction. It has a lot to do with how we talk, and what we say about other people...Quarantining is a good idea for people who say stupid stuff and bring down the level of conversation. We should separate people at Kiddush. The people who add nothing to the conversation area...An area for people who spit their food all onto the other people while they talk. Make it easier for the janitor to clean that...

When it comes to a burns, we treat them like Tzaras (13:24-27). You don't get a pass on the punishment, because there was also a burn. You get the due punishment. Last week, Mark I believe, was supposed to run the shule gaga championship...every excuse in the book. I broke my arm. I have fever. I am out of town...You should have been there Mark. There are no excuses. Responsibility. So what if your grandmother is sick? We have a gaga tournament. 

There is a natural way of healing. If that happens, the Cohen deems them pure (13:28) because it is a scarring of the inflammation. You don't need to punish them more. It is not Tzaras. You don't search for punishment. I don't know what the Chazan was thinking today, with that 20 minute kiddusha. This shule does not need harmony...We have just healed from the Bat Mitzvah last week, where the girl thought it would be nice to read her thesis...Yes Bernie, your granddaughter is smart. Painfully smart.

You don't punish more. Injuries are not an excuse. Yes. You suck it up Mark. You get out of the hospital bed...when it comes to healing. Again, you are treated as a regular member of the community. 

Lesson. Yes there is one. If you would all listen for once...You don't look at the injury. You don't look at the disability. You look at how annoying people are. That is how you figure out who is allowed into the community...less annoyance. Talking in the back during the silent prayer. It is silent for a reason Bernie.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.

David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.

Shabbat Shalom