Acharei Mot-Kedoshim

אחרי מות-קדושים
Shabbat Shalom

Rich people don't give more. We already know that from last week. And they never have given more...I just hope they checked people's tax returns in the Beis Hamikdash, Bernie...

(17:11-12) 'The soul of man is in the blood'...Therefore, we don't eat it. This week, I want to deal with cannibalism. We have a huge issue in our community...

(18:3-5) Don't do as the other nation...'You shall guard H's ordinances and laws that man shall do, and live by them, I am H'.'
The soul must practice the Mitzvot. I understand that other nations are eating people. We don't do that. We guard H's laws. The Torah tells us not to eat people, so we don't. H' tells us to not eat the blood of animals, so we don't. We broil it if we have to...There are Jewish ways of cooking, if one of you would just buy the Bais Yaakov Cookbook... There are good recipes in there, Sadie...

How do we practice the Mitvot?
(19:17) Don't hate your fellow in your heart. That is all you have to do. A bissel love...I want everybody to hug each other right now. With your hearts...Don't trip them if they are blind. Why does everybody get a kick out of tripping Sale? He spaces out a lot. Don't trip him...
Rebuke them. I have to tell you that you suck, or I will hate you.
That is why I always bring a napkin to Michael. It bothers me to see him with food...Get it in the mouth. No reason for it to be all over the face.
The way Divora davens is very annoying. We can all agree on that...We have lost members to her silent prayer. Like she is tasting something on her tongue...
I am just making peace in the congregation here. Making for non-hatred.
And Frank should stop talking about Francine.

(19:32) 'Arise for older people.' This is not just something you have to do on a bus. This is something you do when they come into Shul. You give up your seat, you little shmendricks...And we learn this as part of what we have to do in Israel. (19:23) You have to keep to the laws of planting and treating people right. When we were in Israel, the older people were flying all over the bus. They had no balance. Teenagers were sitting on the seats...
Because nobody rebuked them, Bernie...I understand they are older than the kids in elementary school...

The soul of man has been eaten. Simple acts of justice (19:11-16). You don't trip blind people. How many times do I have to go over these laws with the congregation? The entrance of the Shul even has one stair taller then all of the others. People with 20-20 vision are tripping.
Don't be a talebearer, like Frank...It is fine to say it now. It is rebuke... 

Because the soul is destroyed when you hate your brother in your heart. You can eat the soul by eating blood. Who hear even knows how to kasher an animal?...You can eat the soul be holding grudges. How long is Martha going to hold onto Frank's money...That is not a grudge. She just owes him money. You should pay it back...
You all are annoyed and try to stay away from Fran at the Kiddush. Why can't you just tell her she is annoying?

(19:17-18) When you hate in your, you 'bear a sin because of him.' 
Love comes, when you can be honest. Only through honesty, can you 'love your neighbor as yourself.' This is why I have to tell you all that you suck.
Where have you all messed up...
Here are a few more examples...
Cannibalism is because people don't rebuke. If you were to love your neighbor like yourself, you wouldn't eat them.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalm.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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