Eikev Excerpts

עקב

Shabbat Shalom

You step on the Mitzvot with your heals. You take them and then drag your foot all over them. You take Shabbat, throw it on the floor and then rest on it. You take the fruits of the 7th year and get your shoes sticky...you watch where you walk Bernie. You don't take the Tzitzit of Kriyat Shema and tie your shoe with the tassels...

You treat people well. They are Mitzvot.

The comedian we had last week. You were all doing this heckling thing. You are a bunch of jerks. He is a performer. An excellent performer, and you got involved in each of his jokes and thought is was OK to put him down...His job is to be honest with you and put you down. You don't put him down. He is a mitzvah. You don't smash your heal into him...Yes, he practiced self-deprecation Sandy, but that is his act.

You didn't help him. You just didn't let him get into his flow...It was funny how he responded to you? It would have been 10 times funnier if you would have watched his performance and respected it. 

The musician cousin who came in three weeks ago, was horrendous. But none of you jerks are offended when a musician gets applause. You can let other people be funny Sandy. He was actually funny. Your lack of a sense of humor doesn't mean he is not funny.

Guy sitting in the front with his smug face. You all saw it. He faced the audience like a putz. That is the face I have to look at every week. I demand a raise.

The speaker we paid $15,000 for, had nothing to say, but he was great. You all had your mouths shut the whole time. But a talented comedian is a nothing to you. $500, because he didn't talk about medical ethics.

(11:12) The land H' gives us is different than other lands, such as Egypt. It is a land that H' seeks. H's eyes are constantly on it.' It is not a land you step on with your heals. You walk on it. It is a land you treat with respect. You should slide your feat on it.

(11:13-21) The second paragraph of Kriyat Shema is right here. I know this is the long one and it bothers you, but we are going to talk about it. And we can all enjoy it, as Mark is not going to be reciting it with high pitched whinny tone.

If you hear the commandments...'to love H' and serve Him with all your hearts and souls.'...That is when the earth gives forth its fruits and vegetables. That is when you can eat and be satisfied. It isn't a farmer thing. You've seen the corn coming from Sam's farm. It is horrendous. He irrigates everyday and he puts out stuff you can't even make chips out of...

Serving other gods? You will not have the produce and you will get sent away from the land. Other gods don't know how to harvest right. They prune wrong. They are all out of whack. You want to depend on your machines, then go for it. But if you want real connection, H' will give you connection to the land. He will give forth from Him. 

We think we are the ones that do it. What success have you brought to this congregation? None, Bernie. Even Fran has done nothing. Yeah, the Sisterhood does kiddush, but if it wasn't for H' the choolant would have dried up last week...Because you need to put in enough water...

And you deny the Torah. When you see that H' blesses the land when He wants to. Shvi'it doesn't just happen. The fruits of the seventh year are there from H.' You have to do nothing...We learn from this that when Jews, such as the people of this congregation, do nothing, there is blessing. Because all you do is step on the heals.

Last week, the Bat Mitzvah didn't know the first paragraph...And you wonder why they are serving other gods. They don't know how to pray to H.'

(11:18-21) We put these words on on hearts and souls, wear them as Tefillin on our arms and on our foreheads (between our eyes). So we can't step on them. Otherwise, Sam would be using it as an irrigation tool and fertilizer...Because you all step on the mitzvot.

We teach them to our children, not just to learn, but to talk about it wherever they are- at home or traveling. We write them on our doorposts. We keep them high, so you can't kick them. 

They are everywhere. And they are active. The words are living. They live in our homes, our hearts, our thoughts. But only if you think about them and don't randomly walk without thinking like a fool, stomping all over them...

Why? In order that we may live in the land that H' swore to our forefathers. A land to kiss and hug and irrigate when H' allows you.