Emor Excerpts

אמור

Shabbat Shalom 

You keep the holidays. Yes. Even Sukkot. You don't say, 'OK, I tried to wave a lulav and etrog, but it was too much for me.' You wave the thing. You practice the holidays...You don't whack other people with them. You also don't whack other people when you put on your Tallis, Frank. You keep the holidays with the community. You don't attack them with the Jewish artifacts...

The satellite shul in Freebasin is not living up to our standards. Why did we even open that place of selfish...? We finally got rid of those people and now they take out shul's heritage and call it a satelite. Do they even keep the holidays?

I heard about the singles meal last week...Why are you showing up Hymie. It said from 25-45. You're 90...Then get a pair of reading glasses. Fineprint is important. For the girls Hymie...So you did see that divorcees are allowed?!

(23:35-36) The first day shall be 'called holy'...And then the eighth day is an assembly day...Yes. Simchat Torah Bernie. They are holy days...Exactly. That is why we call them holidays. Because they are holy. I heard about spring break. That is not a holiday...Going to the beach. Not a holiday...Not a holiday. That is you taking off of work. Not necessarily a holiday. If you vacation by praising H' the whole time, that is a holiday...It is about we start viewing holidays for what they are. And not for barely clad...I said nothing about the Fersteins lack of clothing. It is time to view holy days.

(23:39) It is the time when you gather in the crops. There is gathering of the crops. We celebrate at that time. We take a break from the work. They've always taken breaks from work. Back then, they used it as a festival to H.' Not as a festival to Micky and Donald...Yes. Farming is OK. It is not forbidden according to Halacha.

Why do we sit in Sukkot?

(23:43) So that 'generations will know that I had the children of Israel dwell in Sukkot, when I took them out of Egypt. I am H' your Gd.' Just like Pesach. We let the next generation know. Pass it down.

Freebasin Anshei Emes Sefilah is passing down nothing. Unholy, with no shul dress code. We pass it down by celebrating together, not hitting people with commandments, such as Tallis and Lulavs...

An important announcement. The shul bingo game needs more volunteers. We are going to have to stop Thursday night drink and learns if...Alcohol will be out, if we don't bring in more bingo money. We need more from bingo. We are not starting a Pizza and Pasha at this shul. There is no good pizza in our town...Weekly classes will just be cancelled if there is no food and beverage...Thursdays will turn into a regular day if we have to cancel the shul bingo. It won't be a holy day for our synagogue...We also need a better caller. Tim thinks it's a comedy routine...Our people are getting attacked because nobody is hearing the numbers. Fran broke a wrist handing out cards last week...We can't pass down nothing to future generations if all we are handing down is injuries.