Parshat Balak

בלק

Shabbat Shalom

Bilam, the man known as the greatest non-Jewish prophet,  is told to not go with Balak's emissaries, to curse the Jews. A message not taken to heart by the people who were passing us on the way to shule today, screaming 'Jew Boy.' At first, their beep seamed kind. As if they were checking out our kippot...If Bilam was such a prophet, why did H' have to tell him to not go? Just another point to ponder...

  

Just like Mr. Cohen, when he is told no, he has to do it. Like a little baby...After more important people from Balak's higher ups come, Bilam asks again, 'Can I go?' He just 'stayed the night,' but that he meant 'can I go?' Just like Mr. Cohen, who camped outside my fronte door. 'Can I go?' like a little baby. No, you cannot go mixed swimming... You keep on asking. Learn to take an answer. How many times did you ask your parents the same questions growing up?...

But Bilam, like anybody who wants money, or to swim, asks H' again

At this point, H' says, 'You can go with them, but say what I tell you.'

H' says, 'Licha' for you, as Rashi explains, 'For your benefit'

Sometimes, a 'yes' has to come, so that you people stop bothering me. I had to say yes to the synagogue overnight swimming party. It was not for your rabbi's benefit. I love you honey...I was not looking. It was the mall and it was a manikin... It is for you all. But we have to take into account a few rules. I understand you are heretics and you need a 'yes' sometimes. I see where you people spend the rest of your week...for the sake of everybody in this congregation, everybody will have to wear a Tshirt over their swimsuit...We all know Mrs. Hornweiss has put on some weight, and nobody wants to see Mr. Cohen without a shirt...with those thoughts, it is hard to pray...Torah reading will never be the same.

Think about everybody's benefit.

The plan was to not have Bilam go, and that would have been right. But Bilam kind of wants to go. He has an ego. He wants money. Mr. Cohen is taking bets on who will win at standing polo in the kiddie pool...our annual synagogue sporting event.

Summer is coming and amusement parks are expensive...We just ask that Mr. Cohen stops crying about all this stuff. Enjoy the amusement park by yourself. It does not have to be a community event. Nobody wants to see you in Speedos.