VaYeshev excerpts

פרשת וישב

Shabbat Shalom

Call me a dreamer. But when the chazan goes on and on...Is he still dragging that one out?...

The brothers are doing there thing then Yosef shows up and you hear, (37:19) 'This one who dreams is coming'

'This'- the figurative term used since the days of the Torah. 'This' always meaning 'bad' or 'annoying.'

This rich guy who talks all the time. This lady with all that makeup. This congregant who goes to this shule... 

What hurt so much is that they conspired against him. Yes, Yosef may have been annoying to his brothers by being better. There are times I want to share my dreams and aspirations with the congregation, but I need the job...

How do we take to people's dreams? Do we kill them or do we put throw them in a pit?

I had a dream that I would be teaching Torah to people that were religious. That I would have a congregation that had 'midot'- positive characteristic traits. A dream that one day I would not be here...But do I share with you my dreams about the cruise and the new job I was offered with a hire pay....

Your children have a dream. You kill it...The Markowitz family TShirt trip fiasco. Your children had a dream that they would not look like losers on vacation....They are all wearing the same ties. It is ostentatiously annoying... We should throw all your ties and chandeliers in a pit.

Certain dreams must be thrown in a pit...You all threw your rabbis dream for a new sanctuary in a pit...

We are all dreamers. The question is, do we allow them to share it with us. Mrs. Markowitz, your children sat in my office...Little Shlomo was crying. He said he never felt like such a loser, even with the shared family checkered shoes...Little Shlomo had me listening to his dreams about what he called 'This family.' 

The brothers couldn't handle hearing Yosef's dreams. Can anybody handle listening to our dreams?...This is why every one of your children is in therapy...We all want it the way we see it. I know THIS congregation...This congregant who always has annoying halachic question which is not relevant to anybody when I want to go home...This shule with This Markowitz family. This...slushee...

Don't kill other's dreams...Don't be the annoying one and start bragging about how great you are either, like THIS Mr. Goldstone over here.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.

David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.

Shabbat Shalom uMvorach