Toldot excerpts

תולדות

We get into too much trouble because we do not use our spouses enough. Yitzchak says his wife is not his wife...Use your spouse for positive. They don't want to die...How many dinners have you went to, which you could have gotten out of, if you just said, 'Mu wife is not feeling well.'

But they are figured out, as Avimelech is looking out his window (26:8) and sees them playing as husband and wife...Why were Yitzchak and Rivka fighting in public? I do not know. But Avimelech figures them out. As we figure out how bad of congregants you are when we just take one quick loo at you....

(26:12) Yitzchak sowed in the land and he received a hundred times what he expected.

Why? You ask? You people who think everything you have is because you deserve it. You treif eating lucky stock market thriving congregants, who made your money by not paying taxes...Not paying taxes to the government or paying your dues to the shule...

Rashi explains, that according to the rabbis, Yitzchak knew how much his crop was, in order so that he could pay the correct tithes.

Tithes?! How many of you give your tithes? Pay your dues? Care to even think about it to give Tzedakah?...We had a shnurer here this week and Mr. Goldberg didn't even pull out a dollar...A dollar!!!...I felt bad, because that means that Mr. Goldberg is not even making $10 a day. I know that it can't be more, because he doesn't pay full tuition to the day school or his dues....

I know all of this, because we see it all. All we have to do is look out the window...If you look out the window of your selfish, self absorbed lives....

Shabbat Shalom & Happy Shabbat to You all

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.

David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, if you invite him.

Shabbat Shalom uMvorach