Rambam Yomi: Kriyat Shema (1-4)

Kriyat Shema (1)

You say Shema when you go to sleep and when you wake up (Devarim 6:7, 11:19). The means the times of sleep and the times you wake up. If you are going to sleep at 7am and you have no aspirations for success, you have to join the world on this one.

Should there be a commandment to say them when you are sitting in your house and traveling? That is part of the same Pasuk. I am not trying to add stuff. But if we had to say it all the time, the whole day we would be saying the Shema. That probably has to do more with Torah learning. Open a Gemara and see what the rabbis say. I am sure they will explain it better than me.

Morning is the first three hours of the daytime. Daytime is based on the sunlight hours, as if we are all farmers. If you are waking up at noon, you missed the mitzvah. I am with you. I agree that daytime should start from the time most teenagers wake up on a Sunday.

Daytime hours are split based on the hours of sun. 12 of them for each day. So, during the winter, you might as well say the morning Shema at night and be safe. In northern countries, Scandinavia and of the sort, you got to be sure you catch the reading of the Shema, during that three hour minute.

For the mitzvah of saying it at night, that can be said all night. But it should be said earlier, so that you don’t forget to say it. Kind of like taking out the trash or helping with anything around the house, which you probably don’t do. There is also an idea of showing you want to do something by not saying, ‘Wait a minute…I am in the middle of something very important.’ Truth is, you have nothing important.

‘Shema’ paragraph first, because it speaks of connecting to H’ and loving Him, as well as His Torah. Those are the basis of all that we do- Torah and commitment to H.’ Without that, then why even keep the Mitzvot? Why go through the pain, other than to look decent at your Bar Mitzvah, for some gifts and a good wealthy father-in-law resume. Then ‘VeHaya’ paragraph, because it talks about the rest of the mitzvot. Yes, you have to keep these commandment things. You never think about that part when you start believing in H’ and the Torah. Mentioning the Mitzvot first would be a deterrent. You think all you have to do is say the Shema and now it is a whole day thing. Then ‘VaYomer’about Tzitzit, because it talks about the other stuff, reminds you about the mitzvot. The tassels represent mitzvot.

You say the ‘Blessed be H”’ silently, as it is not part of the Shema. But it is what Yakov said in response to his sons, when they said ‘Shema’ in response to his making sure they believe in H,’ according to tradition. Trying to sneak stuff into the prayer, it is a little guilty pleasure we have. And you thought tradition and mitzvoth were boring.

Look in your siddur (prayerbook, you nonHebrew reading congregant) to see the order and how to say blessings.

You can’t make up your own blessings. The way Ezra did it is the way we have to do it. Ezra made them up. He was allowed to. He lived a long time ago. And he was a prophet. Are you a prophet? Do you want to go there? Do you want to take a chance with me stoning you?

Just look in your siddur. I should not be wasting time explaining all of this to you. Open up a book for once.

Kriyat Shema (2)

2:1-3- That first Pasuk of ‘Shema’ is the key. You need full concentration for that. They knew the modern mind of man and no man can fully concentrate for anything longer than a sentence. The other stuff is not as stringent. Example, if you fall asleep during the other stuff, you are still considered to have fulfilled the obligation. If you dreamed it, it counts. This doesn’t work for dreaming that you helped out a poor person who was really down and out, even though you gave them nothing when they were starving the other day.

You can say the Shema many ways, but not laying down flat.

2:4-7- You stop your work for a minute to at least say the first paragraph. After that, you can say the rest while working, as it used to be the song that they sung when working on the Jewish pyramid gang. You stop your work to check out a Youtube video and laugh about it with your buddies and buddets. You stop your work to check out your phone every three minutes, to make sure you have a reason for wasting your boss’s money. Shema is the only thing you are not willing to stop work for. For certain things you try to read the Shema before you go to work. That is what responsible people do. They prepare. They go to minyan sometimes too.

However, if you are working for the public safety or needs of the community, you do not stop that work to say the Shema. For example, if somebody is saying the Shema while on a scaffolding, you don’t say Shema, and help to make sure they do not fall.

2:8-10- You have to focus and say the words correctly. Stop mumbling. It is an embarrassment to your family and H.’

You can say the words in a language you understand, but you must say them right in that language too. If you are American, learn to speak a proper English before deciding you should say the Shema. Call it a benediction. Shema Benediction sounds more proper.

You have to read it in order of the Psukim. You can’t say your favorite pasuk first, unless it is Shema. If you say the paragraphs out of order, you fulfill the obligation. Even so, you cannot stop in the middle of the paragraphs to start a chat. Even between the paragraphs, you should be careful, but you can still ask somebody how they are doing, if you have to show them honor. A little Kavod. You would still answer somebody who asks how you are doing. It is all about proper Shema talking etiquette. In the middle of the paragraph, you only answer somebody who is deserving of respect, and you ask Shalom of somebody who you fear- like a king who might kill you because you didn’t say ‘Hello’ while you were talking about writing the words of the Torah on your doorposts, to protect you from people like him.

There are more laws here, for what to do if you make mistakes. You make mistakes. You make a lot of mistakes. Not every one of your mistakes has to do with the Shema. If you do make a Shema mistake, here is an idea- you repeat that part of it or go back. How about that for an idea? You couldn’t even think of that on your own.

Lesson: You make a mistake, you fix it. You need me to teach you that?

Kriyat Shema (3)

You have got to be clean when saying the Shema. You can’t start saying the Shema in your filthy tunics and hand you just picked your nose with, even if it is normal to see people picking their nose in shule. We all know what you are doing when you are rubbing your fingers together, right after you rubbed your nose.

Point is be clean. Try to find water. If not, rub your hands on something. Get the other thing dirty.

3:2-15- You cannot pray next to feces unless it is covered and doesn’t smell. We are think our feces doesn’t smell. Get a second opinion. Then cover it with a pot. Maybe clean it. How about that for an idea? Clean yourself for once. We all smell it man.

If there is stuff on you and it is dry and doesn’t smell, then it is OK to say the Shema. You are still a dirty beast.

L: Don’t be that guy in Yeshiva who thinks he smells fine, even though he hasn’t showered for a week. ‘I am waiting to shower for Shabbat.’ You want to know why there are no girls in Yeshiva? The guys who don’t shower.

You can’t say the Shema in a bathroom, ever. Those are the places you are supposed to clean yourself, and leave your feces. Not in the shower room. But some of you disgusting people do that too. Don’t pretend like you have never peed in a shower. Lying is also wrong. In a shower room you can, only until it is used.

You basically have to stay away from disgustingness and poop and pee when saying the Shema. Pretty much the same laws for davening. Maybe you should get used to this level of hygiene, even when having a conversation. If you distance yourself from it and aren’t seeing it, or have a separation from it, you are fine. There are distances from stuff like bathrooms too, which must be kept. A safe distance according to all opinions, far. Why do you feel the need to pray near a bathroom? Are you serving Ba’al?

If you see small poop on the floor, you can spit on it and then say the Shema. Spit is not disgusting. That is our tradition. How else would you be able to say the name of somebody you don’t like in pleasant company? This way you can say their name, spit and not speak Lashon Hara.

If you pass gas, you have to wait for the smell to go away. This is how you can also tell if a Chazan passed gas. If he is waiting a good 15 seconds between notes, that is probably the reason for the break. Especially, if when he continues, the choir waits on its harmony. If you don’t hear an Amen from the choir, it is because you do not say amen to a fart. These are my favorite Halachot. Some farts are fine though…

You can learn Torah where somebody else flatulated. If not, then every Beis Midrash would be void of Torah study.

3:16-19- You can’t see nakedness while saying the Shema. But you should still cover your eyes with your hand, you sinner. If your parents aren’t around and you are watching a disgusting movie, you use your own hands to cover your eyes.

You also have to make a separation between your heart and privates. You can’t be touching other people when saying the Shema, at the lower parts of the body. However, being that your wify and young children are like your own body and you are not affected by them, you may be touching them while saying the Shema. The point is that once you get married, that woman you married should not be attractive to you anymore. Any woman that is still attracted to her husband is only because she loves him. It is not because he doesn’t clean.

L: For halachik reasons, it is important to not be attracted to your wife. You also sh

Kriyat Shema (4)

Women and slaves and children are exempt from Kriyat Shema. Same with people who are pre-occupied with mitzvot. Since women are always preoccupied with Mitzvot, that is the reason. Does that make you feel better? Can we move past that ‘We have to start caring about women’s feelings in Halacha’ thing? Can we be Jews again and share our opinions? Slaves are also important. Same with children and people keeping mitzvot. Now does everybody feel better? OK. We are moving on.

Other preoccupations are burying the dead. Carrying the dead person. Making it seem like you care about the mourners. Anything dealing with the dead, make it seem like you care. Also make sure you keep a straight face. Laughs are not appreciated by the dead. Your first days with your wife can be a preoccupation too. You have to listen to her talking about stuff, and you have still not learned how to shut it out. Is that offensive now? That has nothing to do with halacha. That has to do with what guys call nagging. It is the guys who are offensive.

To note, if she has been with another man already, it is not a preoccupation. Probably because she already knows that men don’t listen. This might also have something to do with virginity. But I think these laws are based on dealing with the opposite se.

Basically, anything that is worthwhile, that you are concerned about could fall into this category. But they don’t all fall into the category, as then nobody would ever say the Shema. ‘I am preoccupied with the “Lost.”’ That would have been three months without saying the Shema.

You can say the Shema, even if you are exempt. So women can say the Shema. Now do you feel better. Women can even say the Shema during the first days of marriage, while she is trying to figure out why her husband doesn’t help around the house.

4:8- People in an impure state still say the Shema. As Torah never becomes impure. This doesn’t mean to be walking around with feces in your hand. This is talking about a spiritually impure state, which women are in a lot of the time. I mean a state of a spiritual vacuum. Feel better now?

The people also didn’t except Ezra’s decree that you have to be pure to say Shema. They couldn’t live up to that. Saying Shema in a state of sin is OK.

L: It has long been Jewish tradition to not have to clean yourself all the time