Acharei Mot - Kedoshim excerpts
אחרי מות- קדושים
Shabbat Shalom
Another double Parsha...If you wouldn't be slackers, we wouldn't have to go through this double Parsha thing constantly.....
(18:3) H’ commands to not do like the people of Mitzraimm/Egypt or Canaan.
That is why we are around these people, to not do like them. But do we need these examples in our shule? We should know to not be Ms. Goldfine who snubs every person at Kiddush. Egyptian quality. Never says 'Hi'....Her style...standing in the corner of the room, advertising TJ Maxx's new line....Egyptians wear TJ Maxx...
H’ is our Gd.
You don’t stay in shape. All you do is think about how you look. You treat each other like animals would for the last piece of tassled wobbegong...
(18:5) How do we not do like them? We guard H’s rules ‘and live by them.’
Why do I have to go through the same lesson every single week. Keep the mitzvot already. If you kept the mitzvot, I wouldn't have to give these sermons all the time....You would be out of shule 20 minutes earlier.
Rashi explains 'and live by them' to mean, living in the world to come...We are definitely not looking for joy in this world. If we were, then you wouldn't be hear in this shule, with the Egyptian element of closeout clothing sales...You can’t have any kind of crazy intimate relationships with your family members. Bernie was complaining about his last family gathering...It is wrong Bernie...They are gold-diggers. You are 90 years old. Nobody is dating you for your looks...I have not seen a smile in this synagogue since Max passed away. He was the only member of this congregation who ever smiled...He wasn't Jewish...And how could we be happy? The new line at TJ Maxx is frightening...
Other ways to not be like 'them,' or members of our congregation...Don’t eat blood. The soul of man is found in it. That person who eats it is cut off from the nation...Yes. Most men have a soul...
(17:10-14) We do not eat blood. You even cover the blood of an animal with dust/dirt- Because the soul any being is found in it.
We treat blood with a certain respect. Kind of the way Ms. Goldfine does not treat other people...Respect. Not like Egyptians...
You come from the same flesh as relatives (18:6). Blood it is. You do not come close to those private parts...
Most of your relatives are dead anyways Bernie...It is wrong Bernie...Canaanite...you are disgusting.
Shabbat Shalom
Another double Parsha...If you wouldn't be slackers, we wouldn't have to go through this double Parsha thing constantly.....
(18:3) H’ commands to not do like the people of Mitzraimm/Egypt or Canaan.
That is why we are around these people, to not do like them. But do we need these examples in our shule? We should know to not be Ms. Goldfine who snubs every person at Kiddush. Egyptian quality. Never says 'Hi'....Her style...standing in the corner of the room, advertising TJ Maxx's new line....Egyptians wear TJ Maxx...
H’ is our Gd.
You don’t stay in shape. All you do is think about how you look. You treat each other like animals would for the last piece of tassled wobbegong...
(18:5) How do we not do like them? We guard H’s rules ‘and live by them.’
Why do I have to go through the same lesson every single week. Keep the mitzvot already. If you kept the mitzvot, I wouldn't have to give these sermons all the time....You would be out of shule 20 minutes earlier.
Rashi explains 'and live by them' to mean, living in the world to come...We are definitely not looking for joy in this world. If we were, then you wouldn't be hear in this shule, with the Egyptian element of closeout clothing sales...You can’t have any kind of crazy intimate relationships with your family members. Bernie was complaining about his last family gathering...It is wrong Bernie...They are gold-diggers. You are 90 years old. Nobody is dating you for your looks...I have not seen a smile in this synagogue since Max passed away. He was the only member of this congregation who ever smiled...He wasn't Jewish...And how could we be happy? The new line at TJ Maxx is frightening...
Other ways to not be like 'them,' or members of our congregation...Don’t eat blood. The soul of man is found in it. That person who eats it is cut off from the nation...Yes. Most men have a soul...
(17:10-14) We do not eat blood. You even cover the blood of an animal with dust/dirt- Because the soul any being is found in it.
We treat blood with a certain respect. Kind of the way Ms. Goldfine does not treat other people...Respect. Not like Egyptians...
You come from the same flesh as relatives (18:6). Blood it is. You do not come close to those private parts...
Most of your relatives are dead anyways Bernie...It is wrong Bernie...Canaanite...you are disgusting.
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