Bo Excerpts
בא
Shabbat Shalom
More plagues. That is what happens when you mess with H.' And of course there is lice going around the Hebrew School...
We learn the laws of Pesach. For seven days, leaven may not be found in your houses (12:19). This means you have to clean. I said it. You must clean. I have had to make some family visits recently and the one thing connecting this community is hoarding. At least dust the old couches and broken toys...The Visher residents is full of old trophies for participation. People throw that stuff out...No idea how you dough was able to rise on the metal...Mold...
We have many hoarders in this congregation. Max has been hoarding all the siddurim. You have to share...
This is the Pesach of all time. The Pesach of Egypt proceeds this commandment.
The Pesach of Egypt...
H' protects us, but we have to put in a little effort. We had to make the Pesach offering and take of its blood and spread it on the doorposts and the lintel (12:7). Simple act of killing an animal...Now the Kreshmans are leaving again. 'So barbaric to kill animals'...You want the people to die? Would that have been better. We eat the stuff...Get up and leave. You can't spread tofu on your lintel...You have curdles all over your house...
Your cooking skills are embarrasing, if that. You roast the meat. You do not put it cook it. Mess it up in a soup. Choolante must stop. You have to finish it that night. The leftovers must be burnt (12:10). Do you know how many times I have had leftover roasted meat at the Plasky residents. You can't do that on Shabbat...The house should be burned.
They were commanded to eat in haste (12:11). It is a holiday of commitment to your people and Gd. Not to your leftover arts-n-crafts project from third grade and the half bag of potato chips that has connected to the art through mold...The Pesach offering, which in the Pesach of Mitzrayim, was used to put some of the blood on the door...It is the speed, the quickness of making Matzah. The split second commitment that connects us. The cleanliness. Pesach is about quick movement. Making Matzah and running...lice. Take a second out and shower...
Moshe left Paro angry (11:8), as Rashi says- because Paro said to Moshe, 'Do not see my face anymore.' That hurts. Words hurt. I believe we would all like to see the Visher child again. But have her shower. She is disgusting. Shave her head. Get rid of the mold leavenish stuff on the scalp...
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.