Yitro Excerpts

יתרו

Shabbat Shalom

Who are we? A question that I have to ask every time I see Michael. Somebody has to do something about that child...
(19:5-6) 'If you hear (really hear) my voice and guard my covenant, and you will be for me treasured from all the other nations, for to me is all the earth. And you will be for me a kingdom of priests...' This congregation doesn't have one priest. Do you know what it is like, as a Levite, to have no hands to wash? It is bothersome. I have to go out every holiday Musaf and just hang out...I end up drinking...
The 'treasured' nation, also known as the 'chosen' nation, seems only as good as what we put into it. The anti-Semites down the block, that scream 'Jew boy' on our way to shule, have connected with this very much. Why do we not? Why do we feel we cannot be a 'treasured' nation? I understand that the whole left side of the shule has not paid its dues...What do we treasure? It is the fear of the covenant. It is the fear that we will have to keep mitzvot. It is the fear that there will be a kingdom and the ruler will be somebody that grew up in this congregation. I have that fear too... 
Are we guarding Gd's covenant? Rashi notes that it is 'guarding the Torah.' Now I know the problem. Responsibility is not easy...Michael babysat our children...Stuff got broken Michael...They are 2 and 4. You can't blame them for being crazy.

What has this congregation been chosen to do? What is our task? Is it to make sure there are Jews in Topeka?
Is it making a decent Kiddush? That doesn't happen around here. When was the last time somebody brought out a cheesecake with whip cream? No care. No love. Chosen to not have a decent kiddush. That is what this congregation was chosen for...To not give the rabbi a raise. That is the covenant of Congregation Beis Emes Sefillah.

H' tells Moshe to tell the people that they saw how He took them out of Egypt and brought them to Him (19:4). 
First we have to see what H' has done for us, before we can truly join the covenant. It is kind of hard to see what H' has done for us, when Bernie is still sitting there, all angry...The Kotchmin family constantly complaining about the synagogues parking policy. How about making a covenant with the city to allow you to park on the streets without paying on Shabbat?...treasuring dues. Because you haven't paid them...I am speaking to the left side.
You are what you treasure. You are unpaid debt...
Bernie. That is a Mitzvah too. How about keeping the Mitzvah of having a place to keep the communities Torah? 

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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