Mishpatim Excerpts

משפטים

Shabbat Shalom

Not all is as you perceive to be correct. Mark thought it was a good idea to cover the synagogue's garden during the winter...They are not growing anyways. And now the janitor has to water them every day...The guy doesn't even vacuum... Why? Because you do it all for your selfishness and popularity. The matron costume last year. Very funny Ben.
We are just starting Adar. It is two months this year. Nobody wants to see you in that outfit for a month and half. That is a profession...funny? We were all drunk.

After dealing with the importance of service of Gd, we move straight into the importance of treating people right- Bernie...No. That outfit is not right, Ben.
(23:1-3) When it comes to judgment, the Torah tells us to not join with the wicked, to not glorify the destitute. We understand the Menchuk family is broke. But, you still pay your dues...Wicked or Destitute? Is it all the same? When your number one priority is using the janitor to water plants and to not clean up...
'Don't follow the majority for evil.' If people followed the majority of this shule, there would not be one garden in this city with sunlight. 
There is too much comradery in this congregation. The shule board. No more voting. We disbanded the concept of majority vote. The only one in this shule who not wicked, or destitute is Mrs. Fleishman. Mrs. Fleishman is the only righteous person. She voted to kick everybody off the board...Mrs. Fleishman brought the idea of disbanding the minyan, because everybody is a heretic and cross-dressing for two months is wrong...

What is correct is correct. 
(23:4-5) If your enemy's animal lost, you return it to them. If you see their animal with a burden too heavy, you help.
Even with your enemies, you are required to do the right thing. It is about doing the right thing, in spite of the board. 
I cannot tell you how hard it has been, helping the gabaii pick out who is going to be called to the Torah. Nobody can stand him. He has turned it into such a burden for everybody in the shule. Every week, calling up Ben. It has to stop...
Certain people you do not drink with. But you still help them out. You help out with their belongings. You help out their children. We are starting a new shule initiative, to help out the next generation...To keep them away from wicked, and to help unload the burden of bad parenting...Mrs. Fleishman has volunteered to give a class once a week, to our children, on proper parenting. So that the children can see how it would be if they were growing up someplace not messed up.

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

Comments

Popular Posts