Tetzaveh Excerpts

תצוה
Shabbat Shalom

(29:14) 'It is a sin offering.' The first offering brought in the inauguration of the Cohanim service, is a sin offering.
You all sin. But what do you offer? Nothing...You do the atonement and take that disgustingness out of the camp. The bull was mostly brought outside the camp. That is what you do with the sins. You do atonement and bring it outside of the camp...You take the Shwazberg family and give it to the other shule. 

This all comes, after we see that all the vestments are prepared so that Israel will be remembered for 'good' when the Cohanim do their service (28:38 and more psukim). 
You first got to prepare yourself. Get dressed properly. The members of this congregation last Yom Kippur...Who says H' listens to the prayers of those who wear shorts?..U(28:42) 'cover the flesh of nakedness'- undergarments are necessary...

What do we have room in this congregation for? What are the sins we have to get rid of? We have to get rid of the sin of talking during the rabbis sermons. The sins of caring less about your neighbor, because they didn't give you a good enough gift basket last Purim...The sin of the Shwazberg family being members of this shule...showing up to shule in bathing trunks. 
But you do it dressed properly. You make the sacrifice with a nice suit and tie...Yes Bernie. You have to be willing to stain it..You can't take out a stain on Shabbis. Do you know how many shirts I have lost to choolante?

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid around the world, with very few stories.
Shabbat Shalom

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