Tzav Excerpts
צו
Shabbat Shalom
(8:2) Anointment oil was used when consecrating the Kohanim. The skin in this congregation is so peeling all over the shule. It is not becoming. Michael opened up a siddur yesterday, and there was a hand inside. It is wrong. We will talk about carrying tissues later...There are tissues in every corner of the shule Bernie...No. Handkerchiefs are not acceptable or hygienic.
Then (8:10-13) The anointment oil was used to consecrate the tabernacle, the altar, Ahron. A conscious act was done to bring together the people and raise the holiness of the finished Tabernacle.
We are not going to libate. This is not the Beit Hamikdash. It is about consecrating. The chazan’s clothes are disheveled...Yes. Maybe dress in a suit, Cantor Eisenstein. Iron your shirt. At least for us. Maybe libate it in water. Make it smell decent.
What does this congregation do to raise the holiness of? Anything?
You consecrate things. A ceremony. Nobody came to the Hachnasat Sefer Torah...We got a new Torah. Did you realize it. If you knew it costs $50,000, would you have a come? It is better Bernie didn't show...We don't need people sneezing on it. That is not how you consecrate.
You don't sneeze into the siddur Bernie. It is a prayer book. That is not how you consecrate something. Consecration is not about marking territory.
Was there drinking at the ceremony. Underage? No. It was not Purim.
They had to tie the sash, put on the tunic. All of that stuff was put on right. This Purim, you people were all dressed embarrassingly. You call that Harry Potter? Would not let that child serve in the Temple, with those glasses. Embarressment.
It was a carnival of hippies...We can all dress in clothes we forgot to give to the Salvation Army. Consecrate them and give them away. Make room in your closet for something respectable. Like a nice dress to wear to shule. Maybe a hat that doesn't take up the whole women's section...
The main costume of the shule seems to have been the dressing up like a chapped skinned pale person. If we take the lesson of this weeks Torah portion and use some hand lotion...