HaAzinu Excerpts

האזינו

Shabbat Shalom

People don't like our shule, You know why? You don't know why. And that is why I have to give a sermon every week. Because you don't go over the Torah portion...You read random pointless posts about what Rivka thinks about the Parsha...Nobody cares.

They hate our shule. They think we are losers because they beat us. But who really lost? They did. Because they don't know that it was really H' who beat us in the inter-shule paper football tournament.

(32:29-30) 'If they were smart, they would discern this. They would understand from their end,' that it is not them, but H' that has caused the Jewish people to be conquered. It is plain to see that the Jewish people's Rock left them...Is the other shule really Jewish? Between us, their parking lot is open on Shabbat. I am just saying...

It is easy to lose faith when you get whacked in the face with a Lulav, because your nephew doesn't care that your life is important as well.

They cancelled the thumb war this year, as too many elbows went flying into the spectators last year. It was the Zwasmen family that cheated...You are only supposed to use your thumb. They were using their whole bodies...Trying to get out of the clutches of Temple Beth Agudal was not easy. But you can't arm bar in thumb wrestling. It is not mixed martial finger wrestling. We were disqualified because legs were used as well...too many injuries...

Yes, we lost in the Hoops of Faith tournament as well. It wasn't fair that non-Jews were also part of that. The problem is the word 'faith.' It should have been claimed by Jews. But we didn't jump on that early enough...

Some of the shots were miracles. But they didn't get that it was H' that did not grant us the ability to jump...It is because of our sins that Michael is out of shape.

You find your protection in other nations. It is messed up. You go to other shules just because they had a Kiddush?....(32:38) You libate and seek shelter with them. And yes, it is the sisterhoods fault...Fine. We understand that H' has abandoned us and we cannot live off a Kichel-less kiddush...

(32:39) There is no other with H.' It is only Him. 'I cause to die. I cause to live.' And H' caused us to lose...

A little story of a little girl who tried living her life, but didn't care. She threw up her hands in defeat, as she made a field goal. She said, 'I will never be able to land a triangular shaped paper-towel on the edge of a table...She was abandoned, because she abandoned her faith in H.' She thought faith was only at Temple Beth Agudal. And they call themselves Jews? Calling their place a Temple...

Yes. I have been telling stories about the congregation Bernie. I feel like they are inspirational. People need to know what not to do. You don't give up. You believe in H.' Yes, We are less athletic then the other teams, and we would have gotten killed in a refereed thumb war...We are going to reclaim the word 'faith' and get it out of Webster's dictionary...

The heavens and earth hear it all Bernie.