Bamidbar Excerpts

במדבר

Shabbat Shalom

 

Who here is still counting the Omer?...So I have to show up to every Minyan, just so somebody can say the Bracha. I am like the only Ba'al Koreh (Torah reader) in a city with five Shuls...Yes. I went to the other shuls too, to say the Omer counting blessings. It is not my job. That is correct, Bernie. However, it is my community service...This whole town is a bunch of Apikorsim...

Make it up?

But you can't make up the Omer count.

(3:45) Take the Levites under the Bchorim (the firstborn). Why? Because they messed up at Cheyt HaEgel. They messed up with the Golden Calf. You might be able to do Tshuva. Repentance works, but repentance does not make up. You can't make up the Omer count...Yes, we are still celebrating Shavuot. 

Shavuot coming up this week. No work days. What are you going to do with it?

People who fall asleep on Shavuot night, don't deserve to be Levites.

Wasn't just the Levites that were taken. 'The animals of the Levites, under their animals (of the Bchorim).' Even their animals are not fit for service. There is a reason why we didn't accept the Reuven's ark cover as the new Shul Parochet...Karen's black and white cookies were not good enough for kiddush. And we are not going to have a Shul mascot. Nothing against Pinchas's new oxen. But it is not fit for service in our synagogue. 

Why can't we fire anybody here? The secretary messes up all the time. The Chazin can't sing. The building manager still calls this place a Shul...It is a building, Bernie. There is maintenance.  

But how do we replace? How do the new people of the service cover a discrepancy in numbers. There were more Bchorim than Levites. 

(3:46-49) The 273 extra Bchorim, over Leviim are redeemed for 5 shekels a piece.

You take money for them...The people of this shul are not fit for service. They don't come anyways. As we cannot find any worthwhile congregants, we are going to redeem them for money...Can we find better people to take Michael's seat? I don't know. 

(3:50) This redemption came from the Bchorim

The Bchorim had to pay for their redemption. The ones who were not redeemed by Levites

Shouldn't Levites have to pay for this new honor.

No, you pay when you mess up. None of the people who are worthless congregants have paid their dues. Hence, they will cover the redemption...From now on, all Aliyahs to the Torah will be paid for by the Gabai. He is the idiot that chooses the people to be called up. You take responsibility, even when you lose your job....Yes, the Gabai is fired....

How many people messed up the Omer count? How many people have messed up this congregation? We have to move forward now. We cannot fix what we messed up. Certain things we cannot fix. But we can do Tshuva. If we just find new staff for this place, and new congregants. If not. We shall do Tshuva with money...There is no Omer count to be had. We can't make up for that. There is no blessing in this congregation. We also can't make up for the poor knitting on Reuven's ark cover. It is poorly made. 

But we are preparing for Shavuot. Will the Levites stay up with me?...We also can't make up for the bulletin not mentioning the classes on Shavuot.