Ki Teitzeh Excerpts

כי תצא

Shabbat Shalom

(23:20) You cannot charge interest to your brother.

Then how does the Chasenbaum family make a living? By sinning. They are sinners...The new rule is that the loans for all Jews are fixed at 0% financing in this community...The Chasenbaum family will thank me in heaven...

It is about treating people right. Giving...You can also give to non-Jews...I know this giving and reciprocity thing does not sit well with Bernie. You haven't paid your dues in 8 years...We know you can't read. You did the worst 'Barchu' the last time you got called to the Torah. It sounded like an excerpt from Dr. Seuss... 

(23:8) You can't let Moavites and Amonites into the nation. But Egyptians can convert.

Why? Because we were stangers in their land. Yeah, it was a messed up experience in Egypt, but they let us stay there.

Has anybody seen the guestroom at the Goldfarb house? It is messed up. It is one twin bed for a couple. They don't even give up the kid's room...Your guests stay at kiddush an average of 15 minutes longer than anybody. They have even asked for dogie bags. From Kiddush...Because you do not feed them.

But they are setting themselves up. The only family not part of a timeshare. They have places to go, all over the world. Hakart Hatov. The other people recognize that a favor was done for them. 

The most painful favor of their lives...Now they have yearly guests at their Florida Condo. They can't even rent it out, because the Goldfarbs vacation...Better to be a slave.

Yes. The Goldfarbs are in the wrong. That is a form of interest. You give them a $15 stay. And you get back $200 a year...The biggest mistake, but all those people are able to show their gratitude...Mr. Feinerman has said that he is so grateful he never has to visit Congregation Beis Emes Sefilah and the Goldfarb house, ever again. We can learn from him. B"H. I was able to turn down the Shabbat lunch invite last week...

***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, and is booking his America tour as a Comic-in-Residence for October.

Shabbat Shalom