Re'eh Excerpts
ראה
Shabbat Shalom
(14:1-2) You are 'children' to H.' We are a people chosen to be an 'Am Segulah.'
Chosen to be the children to H.' That means we have to behave. That means we can't role around in mud, like the Bergstein's kid. It is an embarrassment...
(14:3) 'Do not eat any abomination.' A confusing pasuk, as it is not specific. Even so, we do know the word abomination. We have seen it many of times in this congregation....Hymie in the back over there is always spilling his food.
The children's table is full of Oreo outsides. Scraping out the insides. Leaving the outside cookie for mundane use in the trash. Might as well abominate the shnitzel and scrape off the shnitzel tops...
That is not what being children of H' is about. It is about treating the world correctly. It is about making sure that there is enough fat on the corned beef, for there to be some decent taste...This fat free meat that the Bergstein's are trying to push on everybody...Your kid is rolling in the dirt because of this being one with the earth thing you speak of... That is abomination of the earth. You cannot eat pig.
We see the kinds of animals we can eat. You can't eat lobster. Camels are in there.
Anything non-Jews and the Lichtman family always talk about going out to eat, you cannot....
You can't even touch their carcass. I wouldn't touch the Bergstein's kid either.
You have tried so hard to not be an Am Segulah. Maybe support the new kosher restaurant and see what it is like to have an unblemished fatty piece of meat, deep-fried...That is what the children of H' deserve. When we finish our food. That is what makes us the Am Segulah. Use a fork and a knife for crying out loud. We may have not created Chinese food, but we were chosen to give Chinese food, the fork and the knife.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, and is booking his America tour as a Comic-in-Residence for October.
Shabbat Shalom
Shabbat Shalom
(14:1-2) You are 'children' to H.' We are a people chosen to be an 'Am Segulah.'
Chosen to be the children to H.' That means we have to behave. That means we can't role around in mud, like the Bergstein's kid. It is an embarrassment...
(14:3) 'Do not eat any abomination.' A confusing pasuk, as it is not specific. Even so, we do know the word abomination. We have seen it many of times in this congregation....Hymie in the back over there is always spilling his food.
The children's table is full of Oreo outsides. Scraping out the insides. Leaving the outside cookie for mundane use in the trash. Might as well abominate the shnitzel and scrape off the shnitzel tops...
That is not what being children of H' is about. It is about treating the world correctly. It is about making sure that there is enough fat on the corned beef, for there to be some decent taste...This fat free meat that the Bergstein's are trying to push on everybody...Your kid is rolling in the dirt because of this being one with the earth thing you speak of... That is abomination of the earth. You cannot eat pig.
We see the kinds of animals we can eat. You can't eat lobster. Camels are in there.
Anything non-Jews and the Lichtman family always talk about going out to eat, you cannot....
You can't even touch their carcass. I wouldn't touch the Bergstein's kid either.
You have tried so hard to not be an Am Segulah. Maybe support the new kosher restaurant and see what it is like to have an unblemished fatty piece of meat, deep-fried...That is what the children of H' deserve. When we finish our food. That is what makes us the Am Segulah. Use a fork and a knife for crying out loud. We may have not created Chinese food, but we were chosen to give Chinese food, the fork and the knife.
***These are excerpts from the sermon. For the sermon in its entirety, come see David Kilimnick perform at the Off The Wall Comedy Basement, in downtown Jerusalem.
David also tours as a Maggid with very few stories, and is booking his America tour as a Comic-in-Residence for October.
Shabbat Shalom
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